


Mobius Band

by ilovemygaydad



Category: Sander Sides, Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: M/M, Suicide, alcohol mention, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 20:29:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13372494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemygaydad/pseuds/ilovemygaydad
Summary: The looping pattern of two lost loves.PLEASE READ THIS AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION! THIS FIC IS REALLY INTENSE!





	Mobius Band

Patton fumbled with his keys for a moment before finally unlocking the door to Roman’s apartment. It had been a  _long_  day, and he really just wanted to see his boyfriend. And he did; Roman was sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come home. **  
**

“Where were you today?” Ro asked, a slightly accusatory tone in his voice.

“Um, I was at work. Didn’t I tell you that?”  Patton was lying through his teeth, but he couldn’t let Roman find out the truth. Just another week, and it’d all fall into place.

“Oh, you told me that,” Roman growled as he stood up. “So I went to the bookstore to surprise you with lunch. And guess what?”

_Uh oh._

“Logan said you had taken the day off. And, somewhat ironically, so had Virgil.”

“Roman, it’s not what it looks like. I swear,” Patton pleaded. No, no, no! This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was supposed to end up  _good!_

“Really? Then what  _should_  it look like, dearest? Because I think it looks like my boyfriend is sleeping with his coworker behind my back!” Roman’s voice was growing louder each second, and Patton shrank back from the noise.

“I—I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“I just  _can’t_ , Ro!”

“Get out.” Ice spikes shot from Roman’s mouth.

Patton lurched back in shock. “What?”

“Get out of my apartment, and don’t even think about coming back. If I see you anywhere near here again, I will call the police.”

_This couldn’t be happening…_

“Roman,  _please_ —“

“ _LEAVE!_ ” Roman boomed. Tears began streaming down Patton’s face as he stumbled backward and out the door. He sprinted down the stairs, not even wanting to have to wait for the elevator, and didn’t stop until he reached the bar three blocks down.

Patton hated alcohol; the taste was bad, and he had learned all of the awful things it did to a person’s body in one of his undergrad classes. He was going to be a cardiologist after all, so he needed to know how drugs would affect the human body. But tonight Patton really didn’t care. He drank and drank until Logan had somehow found him and dragged him out of the bar.

The tiny velvet box stayed in his hands the whole time. He didn’t sleep well that night, but who really could he blame but himself.

* * *

 

Two horrible, lonely days passed before Roman got the call.

_Mrs. Sanders is calling…_

“Hello?” Roman asked sadly, still not over his breakup.

“Dear… I don’t know how to say this… Oh, goodness!” Ellie cried, intense hurt laced in her voice.

“What is it, Ellie? Are you okay?” Roman’s mind was racing. Seconds passed before he heard the phone passed off, Mr. Sanders’ voice coming through the speaker.

“Patton’s dead, Roman.”

_**Bam** _

_No…_

_No!_

“What? When—How?” He asked.

“He was found this morning, kiddo. He’d committed suicide. He left something in his dorm that he wanted you to have, apparently.”

_My fault. My fault!_

Roman choked back his tears and grabbed his keys from his nightstand. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

* * *

 

Roman reread the note for the whatever-the-fuck-th time.

> _To everyone -_
> 
> _I’m so sorry. I just… I couldn’t let it all go. This is a terrible thing to do, and I know that, and I’m really not fixing anything, but what else am I supposed to do? I’m broken! Everything I do ends up bad._
> 
> _I want a few of my things to go to specific places. The box under my pillow is for Roman. Nobody is allowed to touch it but him. My clothes and shoes should be donated to GoodWill unless other people want to keep a few things. Other than that, you can decide where it all goes._
> 
> _I’m sorry. I love you all._
> 
> _-Patton_

Pat’s parents had allowed him to keep the note. It was one of the last things that he had of Patton, and he probably would have killed them if they’d refused. He kept it on top of the shoebox-sized box that he’d been left, both safely secured in his dresser. Roman hadn’t had the heart to open the box yet, but he knew he needed to.

Roman nearly cried when he saw what was inside the box. Tiny trinkets from their years together were scattered around the tissue paper lining the bottom of the box: the amethyst geode from their trip to Yellowstone, the charm bracelet that Roman had bought Patton from some stupidly cheap store, and the keychain Roman had somehow one in a rigged carnival game. Memories flooded back to him, and he knew that he had really fucked up.

In the far corner, a tiny black box sat. Ro reached for it, carefully opening the stiff lid. A gold ring with bright red rubies glittered in the faint sunlight. A piece of paper was set neatly underneath, and Roman unfolded the sheet.

> _Roman,_
> 
> _I’m sorry that I was weak. I know this isn’t the proper solution, but I couldn’t live without you. I was going to give you this ring next week, but I guess that’s not happening anymore. I want you to be happy, Ro. I love you so much._
> 
> _-Patton_

Underneath the note was a little poem:

> _My heart is broken;_
> 
> _Its pieces like glass._
> 
> _I’ll never awaken;_
> 
> _My soul’s turned to brass._
> 
> _Although I may slumber_
> 
> _Against your own might,_
> 
> _I hope you’ll remember_
> 
> _My sweet golden light._

This time, it was only a day before Roman’s body was found, a golden ring hanging on a chain around his neck.


End file.
